I got this wrong for a long time.
I used to walk into kick-offs ready to talk about the work. The deliverables. The timeline. The creative direction. All of it important. None of it the real starting point.
The projects that fell apart, and there were a few, didn't fail because of bad ideas. They failed because I wasn't paying attention to the people in the room before the room started moving.
Someone was burned out, and I handed them more weight. Someone had stopped speaking up three meetings ago, and I hadn't noticed. Someone needed a win, and I gave the opportunity to the person who already had momentum.
So now, before I open the brief, I sit with five questions. They are not about the project. They are about the team.
They don't take long. Maybe ten minutes of honest thought. But those ten minutes have shaped everything that comes after. More than any mood board or strategy deck ever has.
The Five Questions
- ONE.
Who hasn't had a win recently? I look for the person who has been grinding without recognition. Then I find a way to give them an early, visible win inside this project. Not a token gesture. A real moment where their contribution carries the work.
- TWO.
What are we pretending isn't a problem? Every team carries something unspoken. A timeline that doesn't work. A direction nobody believes in. A relationship that has gone strange. If I don't name it before we start, it names itself halfway through, loudly, and usually in the worst possible meeting.
- THREE.
Who hasn't spoken up lately, and why? Silence in a room is not agreement. Sometimes the quietest person is carrying the sharpest insight. I learned to notice who is missing from the conversation, not just who is filling it. The people on the edges often see the work most clearly. They just need an invitation.
- FOUR.
What does success look like for the human, not just the deliverable? The project will end. The person won't. I want someone to walk out of a project feeling like they grew, not just like they survived. That outcome doesn't happen by accident. It has to be designed in from the beginning.
- FIVE.
What am I bringing into this room that I need to leave outside? My stress. My assumptions about who is ready. My need to prove something. The team doesn't need my baggage. They need my attention.
The Practice
Pick one of these. Take it into your next kick-off. See what shifts.
Not because it's a framework. Because people deserve to be thought about before they are tasked with something.